Life as a Dance

Image via Wikipedia

There is a quote that says "Life is but a stage and we are the actors". And I ask, can it not be a dance floor and we the dancers? For we move to the change of time. We sway to the shift of political views. We jump to any exhilarating news enfolded unto us. We dip, pirouette, split and do back flips for any opportunity, good or bad, that life throws us.

My earliest documents dance presentation was nursery school. I don't know how it happened nor do I have any idea how I was tapped to perform. All I can remember was dad and I visiting his friend to borrow the son's jeans and white long sleeves for the dance number. 

Ballet shoes up in the air. Image by aussiegall

Then came Christmas presentations with me and a number of kids from the neighborhood dancing to the the medley of Michael Jacksons' hits. 

Michael Jacksons' Star. Image by F. Ikezaki

I think it was year four in primary school when I started the Menudo fans Club and five of us class buddies started performing in school programmes. Of course, using all Menudo hit songs. Don't tell me you don't know Robby Rosa?

If I have the inclination to dance, why didn't I or my parents encouraged me to develop this? We are a very conservative and practical family. Extracurricular activities are frowned out by my dad during highschool for i might not give proper attention to my studies. Besides, it doesn't matter how many stage performances you've done in school. What matter is the grade reflected in the report card. So instead of attending the chess club, painters club, volleyball varsity after school hours, we were directed to go straight home after school. Some activities are part of the class projects though. For that, we were encouraged to bring home our classmates and practice at home. Pretty much convenient for me and we have enough space at home for that. But I did rebel a bit, I don't know how I did it but I was able to perform in a number of school dance presentations and was even part of the sophomore cheerleading squad that made the championship. Some teams I did try out on like the chess team. I tried out, got in but didn't pursue it. i just want the challenge of making it in the team. All of these I did without making a dent in my school grades.

College days, boy was that tough! I didn't even look for any extra curricular activity. I only participated in one tiny bit of cheerleading stint which won us the gold in the College Intramurals. Sad to say, I don't even have a picture of that escapade. Only the cheerleading outfit tucked away under pile of old clothes in my closet back home. It was my trophy.

Wizard girls cheerleaders. Image by t. in Virginia.

After graduating, my first taste of real job was as a professor and what I did on my first semester was start a dance troupe. It was aptly known as Quiver Flex. We even did a main live band - concert with sponsors and the whole works at Cavite Colliseum.

The only time I paid an instructor to teach me the moves was summer 2001. My mom and I enrolled in Ballroom dancing and as of now, the only thing we can remember was that that was the first time my dad showed symptoms of unknown malady.

So whats the happy ending? Sad to say, not everything has a happy ever after. I plunged head on to my corporate career after that and was lost in the crowd. 

Holland dance festival. Image by H. Uitboro

Do I have any regrets? Nope. Nada. Living in a developing country makes you practical. Besides, there's not much organization then that train kids about this. Not even summer camps. If there were any, living in a province and being financially constrained was another problem. maybe nowadays its different. And when someday I have my own kids, I will make sure it will be different.

There's still my last chance for a dance....my future wedding dance. ;-)

Children Learn What They Live

Cover of Children Learn What They Live

I have first read this in the waiting room of my dentist's clinic. It was part of our bi yearly check up and I never tire seeing this on the poster hanging on the wall. I was in highschool and yet for me this already makes sense. 

We grew up never hearing praises from our parents nor is it normal for any of us to be saying anything praise worthy. Maybe its lack of time, poverty or being independent, we never seem to stop and praise each other. Ridicule. A dagger look. That's pretty common to shut us up. That's why late 2004, after my dad was diagnosed with cancer, I was shocked to overhear him say to a visiting friend that he was so proud of me because I was so professional everytime we meet with his doctors ( I happened to be in the medical field). And that he is thankful that I shouldered most of his chemo expenses. Also that in a way he is embarassed because he depleted my savings. I stopped on my track and was so overwhelmed with emotion that I don't know how to react. After all these years, he was praising me. That was my biggest accomplishment. To hear my dad say that out loud though not on my face. I thought he hated my career driven workaholic way because we came from a culture that women should be home carers. 

Nail polish heart. Image by pink sherbet

My dad had passed on. But that memory will forever be cherished. One simple remark. It made a lot of difference, dad. Thanks and I love you.

Children Learn What They Live (1969)

BY DOROTHY LAW NOLTE

If a child lives with criticism,

He learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,

He learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule,

He learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, 

He learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, 

He learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, 

He learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, 

He learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, 

He learns justice.

If a child lives with security,

He learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval, 

He learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, 

He learns to find love in the world.

Education and My Life

Image via Wikipedia

"Tragedy of life is not what we suffer, but what we miss."

How do you want to be remembered? A loving daughter?  loyal friend? magnanimous teacher? fearsome adventurer? caring child-minder? sweet girlfriend? charming wife? Whatever adjectives may describe you, at the end of your life, would it all matter?

If you have watched the attached video of Steve Job, he gave three stories from his life. Three important stories that made his life and completed who he is right now. Do I have a story like that to tell? I'm not sure. I'm not adopted. Although I have thought about it when I was small due to favoritism in my family. But that is just childish me thinking then. Unlike Steve, I have a college degree. Two of them actually plus numerous certificate of accomplishment to affiliate courses and licenses. So what makes my life special from Steve's? Nothing much. I'm not a CEO nor did I invent any computer gizmo. I'm just a simple me, still trying to etch my life in this vast world. 

I was brought up by my parents with the idea that education is the only thing they can give me as inheritance. For no one can take it away from me and no one can put a value to it. True. So I studied, though not as hard as I want to. Earlier, I've been studying only to add up on my list of credentials. Then lately, I began to see that I really like studying. That learning new things excite me. My line of expertise is Allied Health Sciences, but due to continuing education, I'm here now learning the art of web blogging and earning passive income from it. Who would have thought I will be courageous enough to delve into html's and css's. 

I felt stagnant before for my degree wasn't really my passion. I don't like messy stuff nor yucky wounds. Then as my patients found joy from their smallest improvement, I learned to love what I do. Unfortunately, some of my college classmates think that being successful in our field means we should be in America working under a prestigious clinic / hospital. I didn't follow that road. I made my own. I made a couple of business back home but due to lack of management expertise, both collapsed. Did I get depressed? Nope. It was lesson learned. I was able to get my ROI (return of investment) before my previous businesses collapsed though.

I'm no expert on life. Just living it day by day. But with new knowledge in hand that everyday is an opportunity to learn. How? I'm now into this online marketing course that gives you input in all areas of your life that you can tap to earn passive income. Did I step on anybody to get to where I am now? Proud to say no. I didn't marry any old man to be able to live abroad. I didn't fake any documents to get my job. I didn't succumb to debt just to get out of the country. I used my out most potential that was handed to me by my parents. My education, free will and determination to rise above all. With or without education, as proven by Steve Job, you hold your future in the palm of your hand. You shape it. I'm still shaping mine. I hope you're continually doing yours also.

Stay hungry. Stay foolish.

Salesman's Prayer

Image by Xerones via Flickr

What are we here for in life? We are not here just to live but to be a blessing to others. When we say salesman, what comes into your mind? A persistent man selling his wares and doing non-stop talk? We all are salesperson. We may not know it but its true. How do you gain acquaintances? By introducing yourself of course. By giving a short description of what you do which basically makes up the introductory phase of getting to know and beyond the ice breaker stage. By getting someones attention is a way of selling yourself. Are you someone easily liked? Are you sell-able as an acquaintance? Do people like talking to you or are they repelled by you? No man is an isalnd and by reaching out, we are opening ourselves.

Here is a special prayer I once read way back 2004. I retyped it on a green paper and hang it on m wall near my office table. I read this every morning before. More like my mantra. It helps me touch ground. Breathe in my friend and enjoy Og Mandino's The Salesman's Prayer.

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The Salesman’s Prayer 

I will pray, but my cries for help will only be cries for guidance.  Never will I pray 

for the material things of the world.  I will pray as a salesman, in this manner –  

Oh creator of all things, help me.  For this day I go out into the world naked and 

alone, and without your hand to guide me I will wander far from the path which 

leads to success and happiness. 

I ask not for gold or garments or even opportunities equal to my ability; instead, 

guide me so that I may acquire ability equal to my opportunities.  Help me to 

remain humble through obstacles and failures; yet hide not from mine eyes the 

prize that will come with victory. 

Spare me sufficient days to reach my goals; yet help me to live this day as 

though it be my last.  Guide me in my words that they may bear fruit; yet silence 

me from gossip that none be aligned. 

Discipline me in the habit of trying and trying again; yet show me the way to 

make use of the law of averages.  Favor me with alertness to recognize 

opportunity.  Bathe me in good habits that the bad ones may drown.  Suffer me 

to know that all things shall pass; yet help me to count my blessings of today. 

But all these things be only if thy will.  I am a small and lonely grape clutching 

the vine yet thou hast made me different from all others.  Guide me.  Help me.  

Show me the way.  Let me become all you planned for me when my seed was 

planted and selected by you to sprout in the vineyard of the world. 

Help this humble salesman.  Guide me, God. 

The Road Not Taken

Image by Metrix X via Flickr

"The Road Not Taken" is a poem by Robert Frost, published in 1916 in the collection Mountain Interval. It is the first poem in the volume and is printed in italics. The title is often mistakenly given as "The Road Less Traveled", from the penultimate line: "I took the one less traveled by".

"The Road Not Taken" is a narrative poem consisting of four stanzas of iambic tetrameter and is one of Frost's most popular works.

Ive read this poem when I was in elementary and again in second year high school as part of our English subject. I even used this as my teaching demo the first time I applied as a professor. It was a very simple poem talking about making decisions in life. How one decides and how one reacts at the end.

My road not taken? Not to marry young. I had friends eloping and having babies right after college. I even had college classmates who are single moms. I didn't marry young not because lack of boyfriend, but of choice. My fiance left me for another girl because I won't compromise of his offer to marry and live with his family. I have this image in my mind that having a family should be starting on your own. Not adopting a whole family. That one shouldn't marry at all if one is not financially stable to nurture children. Now, all of my friends kids are in grade school and one going to high school. Until now I can't fathom their guts and courage to stand up for love and against their parents wishes. Am I envious? Not really. I was not forced to marry anyone just because of pregnancy. This is what I want. Freedom. To taste life. To experience all it has to offer.  Now, I'm ready to settle down. I have taken my road. Its time to diverge to someone else's.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

My Closing Cycles

Image by maury.mccown via Flickr

I was at the brink of ending my long relationship when I saw this post from a friend in her Friendster account. I quickly copied it and wrote it in my diary not knowing it was from Paulo Coelho who happens to be a fave inspirational author of mine. 

It is as if life is suddenly shouting at me to finally end my torment in being trapped in a relationship that has no meaning. It gave me the courage to buy a one way ticket back home, board the plane and leave. 

It also made me realize that the small love letters I have treasured are slowly pulling me down. The need to burn them was so intense that I even murmured a prayer while doing it. More of like exorcising my pain through the flames. I was in denial for so long with no one to share my burden. Courage, inspiration, wisdom..that's what this gave me. To finally love myself first above all. 

Read on....

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One always has to know when a stage comes to

an end. If we insist on staying longer than the

necessary time, we lose the happiness and the

meaning of the other stages we have to go

through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending

chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters

is to leave in the past the moments of life that have

finished.

Did you lose your job? Had a loving relationship

come to an end? Did you leave your parents’

house? Gone to live abroad? Had a long-lasting

friendship end all of a sudden? You can spend a

long time wondering why this has happened. You

can tell yourself you won’t take another step until

you find out why certain things that were so

important and so solid in your life have turned into

dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be

awfully stressing for everyone involved: your

parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your

children, your sister, everyone will be finishing

chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with

life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a

standstill. None of us can be in the present and

the past at the same time, not even when we try to

understand the things that happen to us. What has

passed will not return: we cannot forever be

children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or

rancor towards our parents,lovers who day and

night relive an affair with someone who has gone

away and has not the least intention of coming

back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to

let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it

may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of

things away to orphanages, sell or donate the

books you have at home. Everything in this visible

world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of

what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid of

certain memories also means making some room

for other memories to take their place. Let things

go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so

sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do

not expect anything in return, do not expect your

efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be

discovered, your love to be understood. Stop

turning on your emotional television to watch the

same program over and over again, the one that

shows how much you suffered from a certain loss:

that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting

love relationships that are broken off, work that is

promised but there is no starting date, decisions

that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to

be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will

never come back. Remember that there was a

time when you could live without that thing or that

person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a

need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be

difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride,incapacity or

arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits

your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean

the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who

you were, and change into who you are…

Validation in Twitter

Image via CrunchBase

The Validation Video made waves even in Twitter. See what people are saying about it:

@DixieNormess: Adam
as someone that was only 10, to see that video now (before espn rips it down) is...eye opening...sort of validation for a lot of things...

@erikahelmke: Die Erika
Dieses Video musst du dir ansehen! -- Validation youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980… via @youtube Keep smiling ;)


Exotx
Everyone needs some validation, great video! http://fb.me/Ma22wOAo


Norelle Done
The Validation Era: media consumption, too much of a good thing... from Steve Rubel

Xavier Riley
God laid it on my heart to tell some1 to stop lookin for validation in ppl.#WhatDidGodSay is all that matters!


Tia Kelly
You have to be a different caliber of person to be content with inner validation than the applause of millions

J.Nelson-Coaching
How do I live from my soul? Turn Outer Validation into Inner Validation. -JN


•◘•◘•
@mentalexotica Mmm. It's funny how the need to get some sort of validation gives you the ability to endure more shit than ever.



robert D Tanner III
U better do some self-validation, b4 u go looking for somebody else to validate u. Be secure in u N be proud of u