Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Children Learn What They Live



I have first read this in the waiting room of my dentist's clinic. It was part of our bi yearly check up and I never tire seeing this on the poster hanging on the wall. I was in highschool and yet for me this already makes sense. 

We grew up never hearing praises from our parents nor is it normal for any of us to be saying anything praise worthy. Maybe its lack of time, poverty or being independent, we never seem to stop and praise each other. Ridicule. A dagger look. That's pretty common to shut us up. That's why late 2004, after my dad was diagnosed with cancer, I was shocked to overhear him say to a visiting friend that he was so proud of me because I was so professional everytime we meet with his doctors ( I happened to be in the medical field). And that he is thankful that I shouldered most of his chemo expenses. Also that in a way he is embarassed because he depleted my savings. I stopped on my track and was so overwhelmed with emotion that I don't know how to react. After all these years, he was praising me. That was my biggest accomplishment. To hear my dad say that out loud though not on my face. I thought he hated my career driven workaholic way because we came from a culture that women should be home carers. 

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Nail polish heart. Image by pink sherbet


My dad had passed on. But that memory will forever be cherished. One simple remark. It made a lot of difference, dad. Thanks and I love you.



BY DOROTHY LAW NOLTE


If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, 
He learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, 
He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, 
He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, 
He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, 
He learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, 
He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, 
He learns to find love in the world.

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