Saturday, April 23, 2011

5 Ways to Validate your Life

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” - Leo F. Buscaglia




We all have our up's and down's. The question is: How do you handle each? Do you brag about your achievements when you're on "high"? Or, do you carry a long face the whole day when you're depressed? Better yet, are you one of those gifted with poker face? Wherein people won't know the difference if you have a winning or losing hand.

Trudging through life like a robot is no fun at all. Doing the same thing over and over again is a boring routine. Try to paint life this Easter and open your eyes to a whole new world as you start anew.

1. Power of Words
"Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can do more harm."

Indeed, hurtful words strike deeper than physical blow. It doesn't leave a visible scar but as they also say, "memories run deep". Hurtful words will forever be remembered. Unless you're the forgive and forget type. But even if you forgive that person, chances are, if the words are really hurtful and so mean, you will still remember. No matter how old you maybe, flashbacks can occur and you will remember the words. The insecurity and hurt.


There's this old wives tale never to swear or promise anything bad coz the devil might hear you and claim his reward. So rebuke this and always use positive words that can transform lives. Small details that can uplift the spirit. Have you seen the movie "How do you know" by Reese Witherspoon? She portrayed the role of a baseball athlete who was taken off the roster list. There was a scene showing her looking in the bathroom mirror that was filled with colored post-it notes. In each note was a different positive quote that she utilizes to help her get the positive vibe. I once read a biography of J.Lo. She used to be a nobody who has this daily routine of talking to the mirror in the morning and saying to her reflection: "You are beautiful and successful." Take note, she wasn't then the J.Lo that we know today. But she used positive words that affirmed her status.


You would see the power of words everyday in the life of a student. Each day they go home from school and tell you what the teacher had said. What stuff they have learned. All of these learnings were conveyed by the teacher through the use of words especially in pre-schoolers. Kids don't say "I've read somewhere", but instead they say "the teacher told us that we should..." Kids remember words. They even know if they like what they heard or not. "I don't want to have a playdate with Susannah because she was being mean to me at lunch time. She said my hair looked funny!" Wailed a kid I knew. But give her some nice words, this little crybaby will love you forever.


Words. We take them for granted. We talk without thinking, that most of the time we end up shoving our foot inside our mouth. Think before you speak. Sometimes you can only be good as your word.


2. Dress up with a Smile


Mother Teresa of Calcutta (26.8.1919-5.9.1997)...Image via Wikipedia




“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”
                                                                                                             -  Mother Teresa of Calcutta 

Smile is actually contagious. Same as seeing someone yawn and suddenly you're triggered to stretch out and yawn yourself. There's nothing more sunnier than seeing someone with a beautiful smile. Try practicing your smile infront of the mirror everyday. It will improve your disposition and lessen the early onset of wrinkles. As some would say, it takes only 22 muscles to smile as compared to 37 muscles in frowning. So conserve your energy and do something more productive. 

Try answering the phone with a smile. Even your voice will be different and the caller can easily tell form the way you sound that you're smiling. Smiling voice ergo friendly face.

I have a classmate in college who happens to be chubby. And I mean c-h-u-b-b-y. Eventhough she is horizontally challenged, boys flock to her side. I was amazed by the number of suitors that vie for her attention. And you know what I've noticed? All of them are attracted to her smile. It makes her charming and so friendly that she brings warmth wherever she go. She really do light up the room! Boys are magnetized to bask on her sunny disposition. I'm not saying that you should be a boy-magnet, but just to carry a smile that will make people like you even if they don't know you personally. 

3. Get rid of toxic Company

What makes one a toxic company? How can you know if you have a toxic friendship? Toxic is synonymous to venomous, virulent, noxious. Use that to describe a friend or a relationship and you end up wanting to scream while running away. Words can be powerful, smile can be contagious, same with toxicity. It clings to whatever it touches. No matter how happy you are, how positive thinker you maybe, there will be off days when you just can't shield yourself enough from such people who radiate negative vibes.

I know someone epitomes such example. Let's call her Daisy (not her real name). Daisy came from a broken family and used to work as a saleslady in department stores. She married a German di·vor·cée who happens to have a daughter from his former wife.  Being married to a German guy who loves her so much and having had the chance to live abroad should make her happy and grateful. Unfortunately, she hates her life. She hated being a second wife and a step mom. She learned that her husband has cancer and hated being stuck with a sick partner. She doesn't want to learn the German language because she said its too hard. She doesn't want to work because she said the company is not paying her the correct amount that is due her. She is constantly jealous of her step daughter because her husband has been lavishing her with money that she thinks she should have instead. She has nothing good to say to anyone that every time she calls, your only job is to only listen for an hour while she rants. You cannot give her advice for you will end up contradicting her and she hates that also. Her phone calls gives palpitations and anxiety that friends decided not to pick up when she calls. People tend to ward away from her due to such toxic behaviour. They all don't want to have anything to do with her because no one can help her. She wouldn't let them help her. So instead of being suck into such blackhole personality, get away from it as fast as you can.

4. Believe in Karma

Karma is that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. Plainly stated as "what comes around, goes around." Here is a story that I remember reading in the comics when I was a kid.


Philippines are known for having extended family living together. There was once an old man who lives with his son. His son has a wife and a young son named John. They always eat together as a family. The old man, being old and weak always happen to break his plate. It will either slid off the table or fall while the old man is holding it. This happens so many times that the wife of his son got pissed off and demanded that the son do something about it. The son then cleaned out a coconut husk and gave this instead to his old father to use as a plate. John saw all of this.
John then grew up, married and had a son of his own who he named Fred. John's father who is old by now also lived with them. This time, it is his father that has been accidentally breaking china and glass that he too did what he saw his father do to his grandfather. He made a plate for his father out of coconut husk. Fred saw all of this.
Fred grew up, married, had a son and named him Luke. John, now an old man lives with them also. While they were eating, John would now and then break something. One fine afternoon, old John saw Fred in the garage forming and cleaning out a coconut husk. Trembling with hurt but knowing he deserves it, old John approached Fred and voluntarily asked to be given the coconut husk. Fred, frowned and asked, "why do you need the coconut husk father?"
Old John replied with sad eyes, "My son, I saw my father gave a coconut husk to grandpa when I was a kid. I too did the same to my father because he keeps on breaking our plates. Now, I know I will be needing the same."
Fred was surprised but said,  "Father, I too will be old someday. I don't want to eat on a coconut husk. I don't want my son to do such thing to me when I grow old, so I have no plan of doing it to you. This coconut husk is not for you but for our new dog. I will be getting Luke one for his birthday. Father, I love you and I honor you so much that I will not treat you badly."

You want life to give you blessings? Then be a blessing to others.

5. Do your Morning Affirmation

There's a lot of writings about this topic. One is from Bo Sanchez that tackles on How Affirming you can be. But basically this is also about making a mantra. A mantra is statement or slogan repeated frequently, best in the morning so that it will be your morning greeting to yourself and to the world. Make sure your mantra is on the positive side. If it is a want or something that you desire, write it in such a way you are claiming it. The ABC of mantra?
A - ask
B- believe
C- claim
Write it down and tape it on your bathroom mirror. You can recite it in your head while brushing your teeth. One example is this:
"I am healthy, beautiful, smart and successful. I will have a loving, responsible husband and will have God-fearing kids."
Lastly, I will impart to you what my mom always tell us. Offer everything to God.  When you're happy, thank God. When you're swamped with workload, offer it to God. And every burden will be light.


Happy Easter to you all!

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